Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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