i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just cropdusted the office
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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