hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you had me at cake vodka
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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