tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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