Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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