She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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