I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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