i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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