Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize