fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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