through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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