I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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