Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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