someone threw a dead crab at me
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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