At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
