im six kinds of drunk right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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