check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
