If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
