You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
