margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
