I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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