I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
