just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
