Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
