Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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