woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
