I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
