she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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