my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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