Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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