can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
