Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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