I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my penis made a compromise with my morals
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
