bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
