So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
