Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
