I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it's like heaven, but drunker
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
dude. I can hear the air.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
