ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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