Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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