She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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