Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
