I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
