just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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