Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
