My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
