if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
