u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
