I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
