we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
