he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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