The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
